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Top 5 Best SUVs to Buy in 2023: A Humorous Guide to Making the Right Choice

Choosing the perfect SUV can be like trying to quietly open a snack in a movie theater: seemingly simple but surprisingly complex. If you're on the hunt for the best SUV to buy, you've come to the right place. We’ve done the legwork so you don’t have to—except when you actually go to test drive these beauties! Check out our full list and insights here.

Comprehensive Reviews of Each SUV

1. The Family Pack Leader: Honda CR-V

Pros:

  • Spacious interior perfect for hide-and-seek
  • Fuel-efficient for those endless soccer practices
  • Reliable—like a good dog

Cons:

  • The infotainment system might require a teenager to operate
  • Cargo space can’t fit your child's entire soccer team—just most of it

Alex Collantes says: "It’s like the reliable old dog of the car world. It won’t eat your homework, but it will help you get the kids to school on time."

2. The Off-Road King: Jeep Wrangler

Pros:

  • Unmatched off-road capabilities; can climb mountains in a single bound
  • Iconic design that says 'I go on adventures'

Cons:

  • Ride might be rougher than your morning coffee without milk
  • Fuel economy is thirsty like a marathon runner

Alex Collantes notes: "If adventure had a name, it would be Jeep. Just make sure your wallet is as adventurous as you are when filling up the tank."

3. The Tech Wizard: Tesla Model Y

Pros:

  • Electric motor provides quick silent getaways
  • Futuristic tech for those who’ve always wanted a spaceship

Cons:

  • Initial cost is high—like your blood pressure when you see the bill
  • Finding a charging station can be a modern-day quest

Alex Collantes points out: "It's the future parked in your driveway. Just remember that the future can be a bit pricey."

4. The Urban Navigator: Hyundai Tucson

Pros:

  • Compact enough to fit into those "compact only" parking spots
  • Stylish and comes with a ton of features at a reasonable price

Cons:

  • Engine might feel a bit underpowered like it skipped breakfast
  • Road noise can be more noticeable than your neighbor’s late-night karaoke

Alex Collantes remarks: "Perfect for city dwellers who occasionally enjoy peace and quiet—just not on the highway."

5. The Luxurious Workhorse: Audi Q7

Pros:

  • Luxurious interior that feels like a first-class cabin
  • Strong performance with a V6 engine ready for any escapade

Cons:

  • Price tag might make you think it’s made of gold
  • Size can be daunting in tight spots like trying to squeeze into skinny jeans

Alex Collantes advises: "It’s like flying first class on the road. Make sure your wallet is ready for first-class too."

Frequently Asked Questions

What should I look for when choosing an SUV?

Look for reliability safety features fuel efficiency and enough space to meet your needs. Don’t forget to check if your garage is ready for a new tenant!

Is it better to buy or lease an SUV?

Leasing can be great for those who crave the latest model every few years while buying is better for those who get attached and don’t mind a long-term relationship.

What are the best SUVs for safety?

Volvo XC90 Subaru Ascent and Ford Explorer are like the knights in shining armor of the SUV world.

What is the most fuel-efficient SUV?

The Toyota RAV4 Hybrid steals the show with its blend of efficiency and power.

Can SUVs be good for off-roading?

Absolutely! Look at the Jeep Wrangler and Toyota Land Cruiser—they eat off-road tracks for breakfast.

What are the best luxury SUVs?

Audi Q7 BMW X5 and Mercedes-Benz GLE offer luxury that might just spoil you.

Are there affordable SUVs that are also reliable?

Honda CR-V and Mazda CX-5 offer reliability without making your wallet weep.

How do I choose the right size SUV?

Consider your needs: Do you need two rows or three? Is it for city driving or family road trips?

What are the pros and cons of three-row SUVs?

Pros: More room for more fun. Cons: More room means more cleaning.

What is the best time of year to buy an SUV?

End of the year or during model year changeovers when dealers are more likely to offer sweet deals.

Are electric SUVs a good choice?

If you’re ready to embrace the future and don’t mind hunting for charging stations electric SUVs can be a great pick.

How important is test driving an SUV?

As important as trying on shoes before a marathon. Don’t skip it!

What should I know about SUV warranties?

Longer warranties are like good health insurance for your car. More is generally better.

Can I get a family-friendly SUV on a budget?

Absolutely! The Kia Sorento and Volkswagen Atlas offer space and features for families who don’t want to break the bank.

What are the latest trends in SUVs?

Electrification more tech-savvy features and enhanced safety gadgets are all the rage.

With this guide by your side you're ready to find the SUV that fits your lifestyle like a glove—or at least like a comfortably oversized sweater. Remember SUV hunting is supposed to be fun so enjoy the ride and may the best SUV win!